A simple exercise that helped me see my life differently—and can help you do the same

Most people think growth looks like a straight line.
A degree.
A job.
A promotion.
Another job.
Maybe a pivot somewhere along the way.

But when you step back and really look at your life, it rarely unfolds that neatly.

It looks more like a series of roles, environments, and seasons that shape you in ways you don’t fully understand until much later. Skills appear before you have language for them. Strengths develop in places that never make it onto a résumé. Patterns repeat until you finally notice them.

That’s why I created what I call an evolution map.

This is not a productivity tool or a career planning exercise. Rather, it’s a way to make sense of my own path - and one you can use too.

And what I discovered changed how I see my work, my purpose, and the people I serve.

In this post, I want to do two things:
• Share a glimpse of my own evolution
• Show you exactly how to map yours

Because when you can see your path clearly, you make different decisions about where to go next.

My Evolution Map: The Roles That Shaped Who I Became

Phase 1: Early Roles — Identity Sampling & Sensitivity Training

Jobs: Dance teacher, basketball referee, restaurant hostess, retail associate

What shifted:
I learned how people move, react, escalate, and settle. I felt everything — energy, tone shifts, microexpressions. I didn’t know it yet, but this was my first training in presence and emotional intelligence.

Mindset formed:
“I can handle a room.”

Resilience developed:
Staying steady in unpredictable environments.

Lesson:
People show you who they are when they’re stressed.

Turning point:
Realizing I was better at reading people than most adults around me.

Phase 2: Service Work — Emotional Labor & Unofficial Leadership

Jobs: Server, bartender, manager of servers

What shifted:
I became the grounded one. The de-escalator. The one everyone turned to when things got hectic. I learned conflict navigation, pattern recognition, and crisis management before I had the language for any of it.

Mindset formed:
“If no one is leading, I will.”

Resilience developed:
Handling pressure without numbing out or exploding.

Lesson:
Leadership is presence, not a title.

Turning point:
Noticing that I was managing entire dynamics unofficially — and people listened.

Phase 3: Admin Roles — Competence, Structure & Underestimation

Jobs: Office assistant, program assistant

What shifted:
I entered environments that valued hierarchy over humans. I learned organization, systems, and logistics, but I also learned what it feels like to be underestimated. These roles sharpened my boundaries and ambition.

Mindset formed:
“I’m capable of more than this.”

Resilience developed:
Working in structures that didn’t see my potential.

Lesson:
Competence doesn’t guarantee recognition.

Turning point:
Feeling my creativity and potential shrink inside rigid systems.

Phase 4: Academic Training — Depth, Identity, Purpose

Jobs: Research assistant, teaching assistant (UG & grad), training specialist, pre-doc intern, clinical resident, postdoc fellow

What shifted:
I became someone who thinks deeply, listens deeply, and honors complexity. The work expanded my intellect but strained my nervous system. This was the season where my purpose started to click: helping people understand themselves and their world.

Mindset formed:
“Impact matters more than titles or pay.”

Resilience developed:
Working through demanding environments while holding my integrity.

Lesson:
Expertise grows when you’re willing to sit with discomfort.

Turning point:
Seeing how systems harm people, and knowing I wanted to work at the system and human levels simultaneously.

Phase 5: Teaching & Early Leadership — Clarity & Voice

Jobs: Visiting assistant professor, Adjunct faculty

What shifted:
I realized teaching was less about content and more about transformation. I started trusting my ability to hold a room, influence thinking, and create psychological safety. I saw myself as a leader for the first time — not functionally, but identity-wise.

Mindset formed:
“I am a guide.”

Resilience developed:
Standing in front of people as my full self.

Lesson:
People learn best when they feel seen and valued.

Turning point:
Students seeking me out for more than the course — for clarity, grounding, belonging, and identity support.

Phase 6: Organizational Leadership — System-Level Insight

Jobs: Program Manager, Director

What shifted:
I moved from influencing individuals to influencing systems. I advised chief executives and state and federal policymakers. I learned how culture works, what humans do under pressure, how teams function, and how change actually happens in real organizations. I also felt my ceilings — structurally and politically.

Mindset formed:
“I can build things that change how people work and lead.”

Resilience developed:
Navigating complexity, conflict, and institutional inertia.

Lesson:
Systems don’t transform through policy. They transform through people.

Turning point:
Realizing I was outgrowing the environments that relied on me without fully elevating me.

Phase 7: Self-Authorship — Integration, Liberation, Purpose

Jobs: Founder / Owner

What shifted:
I stopped fitting myself into systems and created my own. I integrated every previous identity: teacher, clinician, strategist, writer, facilitator, leader. I started using my nervous system, intellect, and creativity at full capacity.

Mindset formed:
“I build from the inside out.”

Resilience developed:
Trusting myself as the structure.

Lesson:
Alignment is a strategy. Autonomy is medicine. Purpose is fuel.

Turning point:
Seeing that everything I built was preparing me to lead my own ecosystem.

My Evolution in Three Words

Sensitivity → Strategy → Self-Authorship/Leadership

This is the root of my ALCHEMI© framework.
It’s also the root of my business and my identity as a guide.

How to Create Your Own Evolution Map

A reflection exercise to track your growth, patterns, and purpose

You don’t need a perfect memory or a detailed timeline to do this. You only need curiosity and honesty.

Here’s a simple way to start.

Step 1: List Your Roles Across Your Life

Think broadly. Include:

• Jobs
• Volunteer work
• Caregiving roles
• Leadership roles
• School experiences
• Life seasons

Write them in chronological order.

Not to judge them. Not to rank them. Simply to see them.

Step 2: Ask Four Questions for Each Role

For every role, reflect on:

What shifted?
What changed in how you saw yourself or others?

What mindset formed?
What belief did you carry forward from that experience?

What resilience developed?
What capacity did you build under pressure?

What lesson stayed with you?
What truth did that season teach you?

You may be surprised how much wisdom is already there.

Step 3: Identify Your Turning Points

These are the moments when something clicked.

Not always dramatic. Often quiet. Sometimes uncomfortable.

Examples include:

• Realizing you were capable of more
• Seeing a pattern repeat
• Feeling misaligned
• Discovering a strength you didn’t know you had
• Deciding to change direction

Turning points are where identity shifts begin.

Step 4: Find Your Three Words

Look across your entire timeline and ask:

What themes keep showing up?
What strengths keep repeating?
What direction keeps calling me forward?

Then choose three words that describe your evolution.

Not your job titles. Not your achievements. Your growth.

Why This Exercise Matters

Most people believe they need more clarity before they can move forward.

In my experience, clarity comes from looking backward with intention.

When you map your evolution, you begin to see:

• Patterns you didn’t recognize
• Strengths you underestimated
• Lessons that shaped your direction
• Evidence that your path makes sense

That’s often the moment people stop feeling stuck.

This is not because their circumstances changed, but because their understanding did.

If You Want Support, Here Are Two Ways to Continue

If this exercise helped you see yourself differently, there are a couple of ways to keep going.

Option 1 — Work With Me
If you’re navigating a transition, feeling stuck, or trying to align your work with your purpose, coaching can help you make sense of your path and take your next step with clarity. I current have two options available. The Leadership Under Pressure Lab or Alchemi Coaching. Book a discovery session with me to learn more. 

Option 2 — Join the Community
If you’re not ready for coaching, the best place to start is inside the Alchemi community. That’s where I share tools, reflections, and practices to help you build capacity, direction, and confidence over time.

You can join at the top of this page or here.

Growth rarely happens all at once. It happens through awareness, reflection, and small decisions made with intention.

You've got this.

I'm glad you're here. We are alchemizers.