From Surviving to Rebuilding: The Power of a Simple Reframe

After the fires, I found myself repeating a phrase that many of us fall into during times of deep loss or transition:

“I have to start over.”

It was true. I had lost a lot. My home. My stability. My sense of what life was supposed to look like. The spiral of grief is real and valid—and I sat with that for a long time. But at some point, another truth began to emerge.

“I get to start over.”

It sounds subtle, but that small shift in language changed everything. It turned my experience from something I was burdened with… to something I was being invited into. A chance to rebuild not just what I lost, but what I never had space to fully imagine.

In trauma-informed leadership, we talk a lot about reframing. It doesn’t mean denying the pain or skipping past the hard stuff. It means acknowledging what is—and still choosing a story that allows you to move forward with intention.

🌀 I am displaced… and I’m also free to find new ground.
🌀 I lost so much… and I now know what I truly value.
🌀 This wasn’t supposed to happen… and yet, here I am, becoming something new.

Whether you’re navigating career shifts, personal upheaval, or leading through collective uncertainty—your inner narrative matters. The way you speak to yourself can either trap you in survival mode or open up space for healing, growth, and possibility.

So next time you hear yourself say “I have to…”—pause.
Ask:
🔁 “What would this feel like if I said ‘I get to…’ instead?”

It might just change your life.